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Last month we talked about how to prevent lazy groom syndrome. You know, the state of mind that causes you to zone out at the first mention of pantone shades and floral arrangements? One of our recommendations was to find one area of the wedding to take over completely. Being proactive, after all, is one of the best antidotes to laziness.

That’s all well and good, some of you might be thinking. But how can I take a proactive stance when I don’t have the faintest idea what’s involved in wedding planning to begin with?

Don’t worry. We’re going to break it down into a few simple steps for you.

Step 1: Get a Clue

The first thing you need to do is educate yourself. Because weddings are events with many moving parts, it’s important to get a sense of the overall logistics before you dive in with a plan. Moreover, the best way to show your fiancée that you’re an equal partner in the process is to demonstrate your first-hand knowledge of the event rather than passively leaving it to her to clue you in.

Looking for a place to study up? Real Simple provides a free wedding checklist that makes it, well, really simple to see all the usual tasks involved in the order that they need to happen. Or, if you want a more detailed view of the process, you can order a book like Wedding Planning for Dummies. Give it a quick read yourself before passing it on to your fiancée.

Step 2: Choose Your Poison

Now that you have a better sense of what’s involved, you should pick something that you’re good at, that you really feel motivated to do, and that will have impact. Here are some possible contenders:

Wedding Invitations

Sites like Canva let you browse design templates so that you can get a feel for what’s possible. Stick with something conventional if that matches the theme of the wedding. Or get really creative with a video invitation you can post on Vimeo, Youtube, or Instagram. And don’t stop there. You should also be the one who keeps track of the first tier acceptances and sends out the second tier invites. Knowing who’s on the final guest list is your responsibility.


Your task is to select music for both the ceremony and reception. Think about what that entails. It’s like choosing the soundtrack for an entire film from start to finish. You’ll also be in charge of scouting out the talent — DJ, band, string quartet? — negotiating the price, and making the final hire. If the goal is for the soloist to hit a certain note the moment your bride-to-be starts down the aisle, it’s your job to make sure it happens right on cue.

Social Media

Brides and grooms are shelling out big bucks to pay for a social media concierge these days. You can offer to take on this role for free. It’s your job to get a customized Twitter hashtag, announce the engagement on the social media platforms of your choice, compile photos on Instagram, and even make a blog to commit the entire event to memory. You might also hire the wedding photographer. Perfect for those who like to stay behind the scenes — yet at the same time are secret control freaks — this task puts you in charge of how the entire event gets presented to the world and remembered for years to come.

Food and Wine

If you cringe whenever someone sprinkles parmesan on shellfish ravioli, this is the job for you. You get to plan a meal for hundreds of people and find that local caterer whose vision best matches your own. You also are in charge of figuring out what kind of menu will be at the reception. Do you want tapas circulating on trays, a sumptuous buffet, or a classic five course menu complete with complementary wines? What’s more important, top shelf liquor at the bar or authentic Champagne for the toasts? You get to make the call.


While your fiancée puts together the ceremony and reception, your task is to plan out the logistics for the well-earned week of relaxation that follows. Pinterest is a great social media platform for compiling information on the destination, hotel, restaurants, local sightseeing opportunities, and possible adventures. Posting the options in one place lets the bride-to-be look things over and provide input as you begin to firm up the itinerary and reservations.

Step 3: Be the Master of Your Domain

Before deciding which job you want to take on, you absolutely must sit down with your fiancée and discuss your joint vision for the event. If you’re using a wedding planner, that person’s consultation is also important. The wedding as a whole is a team (ad)venture.

But once you make the commitment, it’s your responsibility to execute your task to absolute perfection. Your wedding invitation ought to break the mold, inspiring a whole new trend in wedding invitations. Those honeymoon preparations should completely blow your bride away. You get the picture. Use every opportunity you have to introduce surprise variations on the agreed-upon wedding theme,adding dimension and memorability to the event.

And if you need a secret weapon to make your wedding task spectacular, give us a call or drop us an email. At Pink Monkey, we pride ourselves on creating personalized weddings that become talked-about events. We’ll be happy to share that wisdom with you.